What convinced me of Gods exsistance enough to search for God myself.

What convinced me was two things. First, when I was 14 and saw people (apostolic christians) who were selfless for real! Not just selfless to get attention, or some other kind of reward, like I normally would experience. I became a christan then, but was unsteady because nothing was integrated. I did not know what to do to get in contact with God. (Så jeg har erfart betydningen av å ha en åndelig praksis.)

The next thing was when i was 19 and saw the happiness some christians had after attending a meeting (also charismatic). It was a happiness very strong, and they said it was caused by the holy spirit. Then I thought I could not take the chance to live without the holy spirit if it could be exsisting for real, so I decided to search for it in case it was. And not long after I was blown away by it myself. Thank God!:)

 

The reason there is hate, fear and so on is lack of love or nearness to God. People, or at least me, are holding on to experiences of the lack of love from people. It is dragging us/me down because it is heavy stuff. We know with our minds that it is not true that we are not worth to be loved, and we should not identify ourselves with the strange behaviour we had and still have because the environment was unloving, because that can prevent us from seeking better ones. That behaviour was an image of the mirror we were looking into (our environment).

What I did on my search was to be part of an environment I felt were light and loving. Even though I did not feel worthy, was shameful and was insecure. There I felt accepted and safe enough to be more whole and then the reality could unfold. If one just look at oneself as a body, from others view, everything else is also seen on the surface, and nothing will have meaning. One have to remove the veils that hinder us to experience the depth of reality. You must move your attention, penetrate and have room for at the same time. Be interested IN. There is nothing to lose but the unvaluable and not-eternal things.

There is a difference in the meaning of the words proof and conviction. You ony need the last one. You can search an eternity for proof in this world and never find it, but God can convince you in a second if you want to believe in His exsistence. Then you can see proof everywhere.

What made me really believe in God when I was reading in the Bahai scriptures was that Bahaullah confirmed what Jesus had said. It was like reading the words of Jesus! I was so happy when i saw that! I believed in Jesus as a child, but was never as a grown up one that could believe deeply. The bible was too old to rely on for me completely.