What women long for in bed.

This is answers I found in a facebookgroup:

Foreplay! Lots and lots of foreplay! Like 45 min of forplay (I like the really long satisfying sex). Explore every inch of her body. tease and tantalize her till she can't think straight and is begging for you and then keep going! Explore how erotic it can be by just breathing a certain way into her ear, how arousing it is to touch places that are nowhere near hey breasts and groin, play with feather light to very firm touch, hot and cold. When you go down on her let it last longer than a meager 3 min (I know your tongue gets tired but how do you think our jaw feels when we go down on you? But we stick it out. Usually) worship her body in such a way that she FEELS like you are worshipping every inch of her. Know when to go hard and fast and know when to go agonizingly slow. If you do it right she will be putty in your hands. Legit one time my man got me going so good with foreplay, getting me so wound up without release, that I came after one thrust! And it was so explosive and amazing you can't begin to imagine. And after we were done (a long while after that first orgasm) I was so satisfied I could barely move. Really guys just take the time. Don't worry about orgasms just focus on her responses and how things make her feel. And don't be afraid to experiment! A blindfold will greatly increase sensations from touch and anticipation. An icecube in your mouth before licking her anywhere will give a wonderful cold-to-hot sensation! Just take the time, experiment, have fun watching her squirm, and just make her feel adored!

I enjoy being held, like REALLY held... to feel SAFE in his arms opens me up for everything.

The important thing for me is to feel safe and wanted. Be open to discover, explore, and discuss all the fantasies without judgement. Empower me to empower you.

Foreplay involves both my mind and body. Communication, vulnerability, trust, touch.

#1 is being recognized as a divine goddess... to feel worshipped, to have his full focus and communication. I love to feel a man turned on by me, and the reciprocation that happens when we are turned on by each other's turn on... mmmm
#2 is SLOW DOWN AND TOUCH EVERYWHERE... far too often it's jump straight to the most sacred spot and ignore the magic of touch all over the body. Use your breath, your fingertips, your nails, the palms of your hands. Rub your erection against me without penetrating. Wait for me to beg you to enter. The payoff is well worth it
#3 is, don't run away after you've cum! Those intimate moments after lovemaking and orgasm are so fruitful and delicious. Stay in that creative, comforting, juicy space for a bit of extra time. Soak up that juiciness.

L👀k at ME, See ME, l👀k in my eyes as you please me, let me see you as I please you. Slow down and enjoy the process. Enter me slowly-know that I am taking you in to my Divine Feminine.

 To be wanted. To be adored and to know/feel that my pleasure is important as his own. To be reciprocated if he wants something. To be kissed, endlessly. To be so lost in the sensations that I can’t help but to not hold back. To be desired and appreciated and touched and kissed everywhere just like I want to touch and kiss everywhere. To connect.

Men's arousal starts in his cock and spreads outwards, women are the complete opposite. These are my desires: start with caressing, touching, exploring the extremeties, our breasts, our torsos, our legs, our bums... Lots of kissing too. Slow down and try to realize this is sex for us, not just penetration. Penetration for me only feels right if my entire body and heart are open and feel safe to surrender to my man. My very favorite treat is a sensual oil massage...*omg* Something I've noticed if I ask for some of these things from a partner is that it will feel like he's performing a chore. This completely shuts me off and sometimes it can feel like my heart is literally breaking. This is why I think it's so important that men try to enjoy and get pleasure from satisfying your woman. And because I care so much about my man's pleasure I will also say, we have so much pleasure to give as well. I love to worship my man's body but it can feel all wrong when I'm not feeling loved and worshiped in return.

A minute feels like a whole day in that slow slow foreverness of touching sooooo gently like fingertips on the caress...the almost not touching just barely barely.

To be teased, explored, touched, kissed all over, and seen before being entered.

A real and deep connection. Slow movements, intimacy, breathing together. I want to move, I don't want to be blocked by his body on me, I have to dance, to follow my own rithm. And sometimes I want to be held in his arms, feel surrounded by his presence. Also, I want to be fucked by his eyes even before I undress my body.

Cervical orgasm (cervix orgasm)

Excerpts from different pages found on the internet about cervical orgasm:

Cervical Orgasm – This is the most beneficial orgasm according to the Tantric tradition, also called cervico-uterine orgasm. Contractions of the deep vaginal muscles and uterus, while the pc muscle might stay relaxed; The orgasm will feel deeper, more full and intense and yet more “round” than the g-spot orgasm, and will be accompanied by strong emotions, love, unity, ecstasy and transcendence, tears, crying and a feeling of deep satisfaction; The experience of pleasure is deep and profound, but in the same time, the cervical orgasm is experienced and appreciated as an experience which is beyond bodily pleasure, and is sometimes felt beyond the physical body; The cervical orgasm is naturally subliming and lifting the sexual energy towards the higher chakras Stimulation of the areas near the cervix will cause similar kinds of orgasm. These areas include the posterior fornix, which is located under the cervix, along the wall of the vagina which is next to the anus, and the anterior fornix (AF or AFE) or the A-Spot, which is located on the upper wall of the vagina, between the cervix and the g-spot.

Cervical orgasm involves a lot of warm up with the cervix often feeling overly sensitive or painful on first touch. Cervical orgasms feel more powerful and consuming, spreading deeper through the body. 

They are reported as feeling like a vibration or tingle which emanates through the entire body, providing an intense climax which lasts a lot longer than G-spot or clitoral orgasms.

In reflexology, the cervix is the point of the heart and as such, it’s believed that these orgasms encourage feelings of love and deeper connection. Because of this, reflexology practitioners believe that you’re more likely to achieve cervical orgasm with a partner that you feel close and relaxed with or alone in a safe, tranquil environment.

Some professional sex therapists who have a holistic approach on sex and pleasure even claim that those who are able to achieve the cervical orgasm have just reached a new state of spiritual transcendence—this intense feeling of pleasure is unparalleled and it can generate very intense love feelings. The pleasure goes far beyond the physical satisfaction.

Achieving a cervical orgasm requires a strong dose of mindfulness, so if you want to make one happen for you, consider taking up a regular meditation practice. The thing is, cervical orgasms are complicated: They may be more of a combination of stimulation than just the cervix alone. After all, you can access areas around your cervix with deep penetration, and the cervix can aid in stimulating those areas. You’ve heard about a full-body orgasm. That’s how a cervical orgasm feels. And what an experience it is: Cervical orgasms flood your body with healing, feel-good chemicals that lower stress hormones and leave you feeling amazing. Many women say to achieve them, you must be absolutely centered on your pelvis. If you want cervical orgasms, mindfulness matters!

Your cervix can be tender if you hit it too hard, so take it slowly. And keep in mind that deeper penetration isn’t just a physical act for women. Our minds and our emotions are also heavily involved, so don’t be surprised if you have feelings that get stirred up or you have significant life realizations along the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=95&v=DSfJ3VGgvXk

Deep thrusts that are angled toward the back end side of your vagina will create the intensity and intimacy that you crave.

Stimulating the cervix can cause very intense feelings of love with your partner and spiritual transcendence.

If you are feeling open emotionally and open to yourself and your partner you are more likely to experience it. However, it’s not likely to occur during casual sex or if you don’t feel very open, safe and relaxed with your partner.

My final thoughts: I agree to most of what is said here, but when it says intense, I don't experience it physically intense like a peak orgasm, but emotionally intense! I will also add that it seems to be important that the penis is shaped in a certain way. When I see a penis that has a thin tip I think: Good for anal. When it has a thick tip: Good for vaginal (with the hope of cervix orgasm). Needless to say, if the penis isn't reaching the cervix well enough (a slight touch won't do) there is no chance she will have such an orgasm. The angle the penis hits the cervix is of importance. He can try to reach it by penetrating her in front, half way on the side. She will probably adjust her body so it hits her cervix perfectly.

I have only experienced this orgasm with a few people and these had some things in common: They could last long without coming (had good self control and was present), they were not far from the point of no return most of the time we had intercourse, they had a large penis, the chemistry was good, they were spiritual and I felt completely safe with them so to surrender was not hard at all.

For her to be able to experience this orgasm she should sacrifice peak orgasms for a long time. If she has had many peak orgasms her cervix has probably become tight and stiff. This can be fixed by avoiding peak orgasms and by massaging the cervix untill it is soft. This can be done by squeezing the cervix with two fingers from each side untill it no longer hurts and then with a penis or fingers straight on.

When I have had a cervix orgasm I have already had intercourse untill the point where love is produced inside of me. A while after that happens I lose contact with the feeling of his penis inside my vagina and float beyond my body as my consciousness expands. When I reach the orgasm I have reached heaven and connect with the divine. I speak in tounges when I am connected to the divine energies. (The man should just keep on thrusting at this point untill she communicates to him that he can slow down. He should not worry that something is wrong, even though she may sound strange. Sometimes women cries when they have an orgasm because it is an emotional release too. This is a good thing. After the orgasm he may hold her in his arms. Never try to stop her from expresssing herself. After a full cervix orgasm I feel intense happiness.

Swami Satyanada Sarawsati on kundalini tantra

Everybody should know something about kundalini as it represents the coming consciousness of mankind. Kundalini is the name of a sleeping dormant potential force in the human organism and it is situated at the root of the spinal column. In the masculine body it is in the perineum, between the urinary and excretory organs. In the female body its location is at the root of the uterus, in the cervix. This center is known as mooladhara chakra and it is actually a physical structure. It is a small gland which you can even take out and press. However, kundalini is a dormant energy, and even if you press it, it will not explode.

To awaken kundalini you must prepare yourself through yogic techniques. You must practise asanas, pranayama, meditation or receive shaktipat from a guru . Then, when you are able to force your prana into the seat of kundalini, the energy wakes up and makes its way through sushumna nadi, the central nervous canal, to the brain. As kundalini ascends, it passes through each of the chakras which are interconnected with the different silent areas of the brain. With the awakening of kundalini there is an explosion in the brain as the dormant or sleeping areas start blossoming like flowers. Therefore, kundalini can be equated with the awakening of the silent areas of the brain.

Although kundalini is said to reside in mooladhara chakra, we are all at different stages of evolution, and in some of us kundalini may have already reached swadhisthana, manipura or anahata chakra. If this is so, whatever sadhana you do now might start an awakening in anahata or some other chakra. However, awakening of kundalini in mooladhara chakra is one thing, and awakening in sahasrara, the highest center of the brain, is another.

Once the multipetalled lotus of sahasrara blossoms, a new consciousness dawns. Our present consciousness is not independent, as the mind depends on the information supplied by the senses. If you have no eyes, you can never see; if you are deaf, you will never hear. However, when the superconsciousness emerges, experience becomes completely independent and knowledge also becomes completely independent.

HOW MAN DISCOVERED

Right from the beginning of creation, man witnessed many transcendental happenings. Sometimes he was able to read the thoughts of others, he witnessed somebody else’s predictions coming true, or he may even have seen his own dreams manifesting into realities. He pondered over the fact that some people could write inspiring poems of compose beautiful music whereas others couldn’t; one person could fight on the battlefield for days together and another person couldn’t even get up from his bed. So he wanted to discover why everybody seemed to be different.

In the course of his investigations, man came to understand that within every individual there is a special form of energy. He saw that in some people it was dormant, in others it was evolving and in a very small minority of people, it was actually awakened. Originally, man named this energy after gods, goddesses, angels or divinities. Then he discovered prana and called it prana shakti. In tantra they called it kundalini.

VARIOUS NAMES

In Sanskrit, Kundal means a coil, and so kundalini has been described as ‘that which is coiled’. This is the traditional belief; but it has been incorrectly understood. The word Kundalini actually comes from the word kunda, meaning ‘a deeper place, pit or cavity’. The fire used in the ceremony of initiation is kindled in a pit called kunda. Similarly, the place where a dead body is burned is kunda. If you dig a ditch or a hole it is called kunda. Kunda refers to the concave cavity in which the brain, resembling a coiled and sleeping serpent, nestles. (If you have the opportunity of examining a dissection of the human brain you will see that it is in the form of a coil or snake curled up upon itself.) This is the true meaning of kundalini.

The word kundalini refers to the shakti or power when it is in its dormant potential state, but when it is manifesting, you can call it Devi, Kali, Durga, Saraswati, Lakshmi or any other name according to the manifestation it is exhibiting before you.

In the Christian tradition, the terms ‘the Path of the Initiates’ and ‘the Stairway to Heaven’ used in the Bible, refer to kundalini’s ascent through sushumna nadi. The ascent of kundalini and ultimately, the descent of spiritual grace, are symbolized by the cross. This is why Christians make the sign of the cross at ajna, anahata and vishuddhi chakras, for ajna is the center where the ascending consciousness is transcended and anahata is where the descending grace is made manifest to the world.

Whatever happens in spiritual life, it is related to the awakening of kundalini. And the goal of every form of spiritual life, whether you call it samadhi, nirvana, moksha, communion, union, kaivalya, liberation or whatever, is in fact awakening of kundalini.

KALI AND DURGA

When kundalini has just awakened and you are not able to handle it, it is called Kali. When you can handle it and are able to use it for beneficial purposes and you become powerful on account of it, it is called Durga.

Kali is a female deity, naked, black or smoky in color, wearing a mala of 108 human skulls, representing the memories of different births. Kali’s lolling tongue of blood red color signifies the rajo guna whose circular movement gives impetus to all creative activities. By this specific gesture, she is exhorting the sadhakas to control their rajo guna. The sacrificial sword and the severed head, held by the left hand are the symbols of dissolution. Darkness and death are by no means the mere absence of light and life, rather, they are their origin. The sadhaka worships the cosmic power in its female form, for she represents the kinetic aspect, the masculine being the static which is activated only through her power.

In Hindu mythology, the awakening of Kali has been described in great detail When Kali rises in red anger, all the gods and demons are stunned and every body keeps quiet. They do not know what she is going to do. They ask Lord Shiva to pacify her, but Kali roars ferociously, throwing him down and standing on his chest with her mouth wide open, thirsty for flesh and blood. When the devas hold prayers to pacify Kali, she becomes calm and quiet.

Then there is the emergence of Durga, the higher, more refined and benign KALI AND DURGA

When kundalini has just awakened and you are not able to handle it, it is called Kali. When you can handle it and are able to use it for beneficial purposes and you become powerful on account of it, it is called Durga.

Kali is a female deity, naked, black or smoky in color, wearing a mala of 108 human skulls, representing the memories of different births. Kali’s lolling tongue of blood red color signifies the rajo guna whose circular movement gives impetus to all creative activities. By this specific gesture, she is exhorting the sadhakas to control their rajo guna. The sacrificial sword and the severed head, held by the left hand are the symbols of dissolution. Darkness and death are by no means the mere absence of light and life, rather, they are their origin. The sadhaka worships the cosmic power in its female form, for she represents the kinetic aspect, the masculine being the static which is activated only through her power.

In Hindu mythology, the awakening of Kali has been described in great detail When Kali rises in red anger, all the gods and demons are stunned and every body keeps quiet. They do not know what she is going to do. They ask Lord Shiva to pacify her, but Kali roars ferociously, throwing him down and standing on his chest with her mouth wide open, thirsty for flesh and blood. When the devas hold prayers to pacify Kali, she becomes calm and quiet.

Then there is the emergence of Durga, the higher, more refined and benign symbol of the unconscious. Durga is a beautiful goddess seated on a tiger. She has 8 hands representing the eightfold elements of man. Durga wears a mala of human heads to symbolize her wisdom and power. These heads are generally 52 in number, representing the 52 letters of the Sanskrit alphabet, which are the outer manifestations of Shabda Brahma or Brahma in the form of sound. Durga is the remover of all evil consequences of life and the giver of power and peace that is released from mooladhara.

According to yoga philosophy, Kali, the first manifestation of the unconscious kundalini is a terrible power; it completely subdues the individual soul, represented by her standing on Lord Shiva.

It sometimes happens that by mental instability, some people get in contact with their unconscious body and see inauspicious, ferocious elements— ghosts, monsters, etc. When Kali, the unconscious power of man, is awakened she goes up to meet the further manifestation, being Durga, the superconscious, bestowing glory and beauty.

SYMBOLIC REPRESENTATION

In the tantric texts, kundalini is conceived of as the primal power or energy. In terms of modern psychology, it can be called the unconscious in man. As we have just discussed, in Hindu mythology, kundalini corresponds with the concept of Kali. In the philosophy of Shaivism, the concept of kundalini is represented by the shivalingam, the oval-shaped stone or pillar with a snake coiled around it.

However, most commonly, kundalini is illustrated as a sleeping serpent coiled three and a half times. Of course there is no serpent residing in mooladhara, sahasrara or any other chakra, but the serpent has always been a symbol for efficient consciousness. In all the oldest mystic cults of the world you find the serpent, and if you have seen any pictures or images of Lord Shiva, you will have noticed serpents girdling his waist, neck and arms. Kali is also adorned with serpents and Lord Vishnu eternally reposes on a large coiled serpent.

This serpent power symbolizes the unconscious in man. In Scandinavian, European, Latin American and Middle Eastern countries and many different civilizations of the world, the concept of the serpent power is represented in monuments and ancient artifacts. This means kundalini was known to people from all parts of the world in the past.

However, we can conceive kundalini in any manner we like because actually, prana has no form or dimension, it is infinite.

In the traditional descriptions of kundaljni awakening, it is said that kundalini resides in mooladhara in the form of a coiled snake and when the snake awakens it uncoils and shoots up through sushumna (the psychic passage in the center of the spinal cord), opening the other chakras as it goes. (See Sir John Woodroffe’s The Serpent Power.)

Brahmachari Swami Vyasdev, in his book Science of the Soul, describes the awakening of kundalini in the following way:

“Sadhakas have seen the sushumna in the form of a luminous rod or pillar, a golden yellow snake, or sometimes as a shining black snake about ten inches long with blood red eyes like smouldering charcoal, the front part of the tongue vibrating and shining like lightning, ascending the spinal column.”

The meaning of the coils of the serpent is as follows: The 3 coils represent the 3 matras of Om, which relate to past, present and future; to the gunas: tamas, rajas and sattva; to the 3 states of consciousness: waking, sleeping and dreaming; and to the types of experience: subjective experience, sensual experience and absence of experience. The 1/2 coil represents the state of transcendence, where there is neither waking, sleeping nor dreaming. So, the 3 1/2 coils signify the total experience of the universe and the experience of transcendence.

WHO CAN AWAKEN KUNDALINI

There are many people who have awakened their kundalini. Not only saints and sadhus, but poets, painters, warriors, writers, anyone can awaken their kundalini. With the awakening of kundalini, not only visions of God take place, there is dawning of creative intelligence and an awakening of supramental faculties. By activating kundalini you may become anything in life.

The energy of kundalini is one energy, but it expresses itself differently through the individual psychic centers or chakras— first in gross instinctive ways and then in progressively more subtle ways. Refining of the expression of this energy at higher and more subtle levels of vibration represents the ascent of human consciousness to its highest possibilities.

Kundalini is the creative energy; it is the energy of self-expression. Just as in reproduction a new life is created, in the same way, someone like Einstein uses that same energy in a different, more subtle realm, to create a theory like relativity. It is the same energy that is expressed when someone composes or plays beautiful music. It is the same energy which is expressed in all parts of life, whether it is building up a business, fulfilling the family duties or reaching whatever goal you aspire for. These are all expressions of the same creative energy.

Everybody, whether householder or sannyasin, must remember that awakening of kundalini is the prime purpose of human incarnation. All the pleasures of sensual life which we are enjoying now are intended only to enhance the awakening of kundalini amidst the adverse circumstances of man’s life.

A PROCESS OF METAMORPHOSIS

With the awakening of kundalini, a transformation takes place in life. It has little to do with one’s moral, religious or ethical life. It has more to do with the quality of our experiences and perceptions. When kundalini wakes up your mind changes and your priorities and attachments also change. All your karmas undergo a process of integration.

It is very simple to understand. When you were a child you loved toys, but why don’t you love them now? Because your mind has changed and consequently, your attachments have also changed. So, with the awakening of kundalini, a metamorphosis takes place. There is even the possibility of restructuring the entire physical body. When kundalini awakens, the physical body actually undergoes many changes.

Generally they are positive, but if your guru is not cautious, they can be negative also. When the shakti wakes up, the cells in the body are completely charged and a process of rejuvenation also starts. The voice changes, the smell of the body changes and the hormonal secretions also change. In fact, the transformation of cells in the body and brain takes place at a much higher rate than normal. These are just a few observations. However, scientific researchers are still taking their first steps into this field.

WHY AWAKEN KUNDALINI?

If you want to take up the practice of kundalini yoga, the most important thing is that you have a reason or an aim. If you want to awaken kundalini for psychic powers, then please go ahead with your own destiny. But if you want to awaken kundalini in order to enjoy communion between Shiva and Shakti,the actual communion between the two great forces within you, and if you want to enter samadhi and experience the absolute in the cosmos, and if you want to understand the truth behind the appearance, and if the purpose of your pilgrimage is very great, then there is nothing that can come to you as an obstacle.

By means of kundalini awakening, you are compensating with the laws of nature and speeding up the pace of your physical, mental and spiritual evolution. Once the great shakti awakens, man is no longer a gross physical body operating with a lower mind and low voltage prana. Instead, every cell of his body is charged with the high voltage prana of kundalini. And when total awakening occurs, man becomes a junior god, an embodiment of divinity.

~Swami Satyanada Sarawsati

Kundalini, sexuality and control (higher and lower will)

I have written about this before, but this is a new compilation on the subject of kundalini.

I have had a rise in kundalini in two periods of time. As a new Bahai (23 years), and later lasting almost 2 years. As a new Bahai and very fond of nature I learned about sexuality as something very close to earth, like I also found God in nature. I then learned to accept this force as something stronger than me I should not try to control how to move (or suppress). I felt my pride go (and shame related to sexuality was rinsed out) when i tried to understand its will. It was hard to understand then because my intuition was not developed much yet.

The next time it happened several years later I understood the purity of sexual energy, worked through my fear of mens sexuality and found my own. I also found my authenticity. It made it impossible to go against my conviction. I couldn't grasp thoughts normally in this state so God sendt visions to my questions.

Even though I was filled to the edge with sexual energy every day I never touched myself. I focused on it every day, felt the energy as a meditation object to make it even stronger to challange myself. I also had a hope it would give me more energy for physical activity in general, but that didn't happen. You can't exercise on sexual energy.

Once every 6 weeks when I wasn't able to control myself anymore because the energy was so tense and overwhelming I let my control go to the energy. The sexual energy had a will on its own and I subjected to it as a way of working on my control issues. I understood the will in it was the same as Gods will. My intuition was much stronger at this point. The energy wanted to heal my body. So when I moved my body the way it wanted me to (a little similar to yoga asanas in a slow pace) I perceived it as making love with God, and when I moved my body in these odd positions the energy could fill up every fibre of my body. When I was filled I felt the energy go over to a higher plane and the tension was gone. This practise could take quite a while.

A new 6 weeks with meditation and no touching followed, increasing the tension once again till the unbearable.