Kundalini, sexuality and control (higher and lower will)

I have written about this before, but this is a new compilation on the subject of kundalini.

I have had a rise in kundalini in two periods of time. As a new Bahai (23 years), and later lasting almost 2 years. As a new Bahai and very fond of nature I learned about sexuality as something very close to earth, like I also found God in nature. I then learned to accept this force as something stronger than me I should not try to control how to move (or suppress). I felt my pride go (and shame related to sexuality was rinsed out) when i tried to understand its will. It was hard to understand then because my intuition was not developed much yet.

The next time it happened several years later I understood the purity of sexual energy, worked through my fear of mens sexuality and found my own. I also found my authenticity. It made it impossible to go against my conviction. I couldn't grasp thoughts normally in this state so God sendt visions to my questions.

Even though I was filled to the edge with sexual energy every day I never touched myself. I focused on it every day, felt the energy as a meditation object to make it even stronger to challange myself. I also had a hope it would give me more energy for physical activity in general, but that didn't happen. You can't exercise on sexual energy.

Once every 6 weeks when I wasn't able to control myself anymore because the energy was so tense and overwhelming I let my control go to the energy. The sexual energy had a will on its own and I subjected to it as a way of working on my control issues. I understood the will in it was the same as Gods will. My intuition was much stronger at this point. The energy wanted to heal my body. So when I moved my body the way it wanted me to (a little similar to yoga asanas in a slow pace) I perceived it as making love with God, and when I moved my body in these odd positions the energy could fill up every fibre of my body. When I was filled I felt the energy go over to a higher plane and the tension was gone. This practise could take quite a while.

A new 6 weeks with meditation and no touching followed, increasing the tension once again till the unbearable. 

An answer to: how do I still my mind?

Are you able to be objective to your thoughts? I mean, if you constantly have thoughts about a problem I think to be mindful about the fact that you want to solve the problem by understanding it deeply enough to actually do that (solve it) is the way to go instead of just beeing bothered about an endless stream of thoughts about it that don't solve anything because they are too shallow and negative. If you are aware of the fact that you have a problem and want to solve it you may get assistance; a brilliant thought comes in and interfere with the bunch of stupid and negative ones and are able to dissolve them because the interfering thought is more vibrant and true and was the thought missing to be able to understand the issue and be free from it. Then it is easy to decide not to think about anything and focus on something else than thoughts, or continue to be objective to thoughts and detect new problems to solve the same way. The purpose of meditation is not to supress thoughts, as you know. You don't get rid of thoughts that comes because you need something enligtened. Meditation makes it possible to understand things deeply and become less disturbed as the problems are being solved. Some call this deep state of being when you understand fully contemplation. There is of course thoughts that are just loosely connected to a problem and that are not worth spending your attention on. Then you can, not suppress, but push them away as if they were flies in your face once you are aware of their insignificance. You are in control of what you want to focus on.

The neighbours

The neighbours on my left side are a couple who argue a lot, or more like she screams at him for a really long time, probably because he is a very bad listener, or more likely, he is not willing to change. The first and only time I met them he smiled so much to me I wondered what he was up to. Anyway. The doorbell rang yesterday. I didn't expect anybody that early and I checked my mobile and nobody had contacted me, so I didn't open. Then it rang again after a short while. I decided to take a peak out of my open bedroom window in case someone was planning to jump in and rob me, expecting I wasn't home. There he was right in front of my window, if possible, smiling even more, standing in a bathrobe and asks me: Have you rung on my bell? No! Are you sure?

Dagens sitat

Hvem som helst kan vel synes religion og New Age er tullete. Cluet er som med alt annet å fjerne slør menneskene har skapt og komme til essensen. Akkurat som du må fjerne dine egne slør for å finne Gud.
Ingen religiøs skrift kan fortelle deg sannheten, men den kan peke på den. Det er du selv som må finne den.