Meningen med livet

Meningen med livet er å forstå Gud mer og mer; hva sannhet er, hva kjærlighet er, hva rettferdighet er osv. Gud er den høyeste realitet og vi streber etter å bryte fri fra de begrensede illusjonene og erfare denne høyeste realitet. Om vi så må rive av oss håret, gråte oss helt bort og ofre all tilknytning til verden så gjør vi hva vi kan for å erfare den. Og lengselen etter det høyeste driver oss. En lengsel som ikke er uavhengig av Gud selv.

When reserved people meet

Yesterday a reserved person met a reserved person. What happened? Even though they both hate small-talk one of them started talking small to the other. If the goal was to connect it wasn't a good idea, because the other was reserved because of emotional tension and wasn't able to give answers on that level. So she broke down instead and he got frustrated that she couldn't connect. Did he even try to find her?

When a reserved person meets a reserved person I bet he feels inadequate, even though he may not be fully aware of it, because a reserved person is not one that do what he can to make people feel good in their presence and he is not the one that reach out and comfort people who feels insecure, troubled and vulnerable. Perhaps his safe place becomes a prison for him in situations like this? The reserved person is hard to engage, hard to satisfy, and does very little himself to do the same.

Søren Kierkegaard on helping: 

“If one is truly to succeed in leading a person to a specific place, one must first and foremost take care to find him where he is and begin there. This is the secret in the entire art of helping.

Anyone who cannot do this is himself under a delusion if he thinks he is able to help someone else. In order truly to help someone else, I must understand more than he, but certainly first and foremost understand what he understands.
If I do not do that, then my greater understanding does not help him at all. If I nevertheless want to assert my greater understanding, then it is because I am vain or proud, then basically instead of benefiting him I really want to be admired by him.
But all true helping begins with a humbling.
The helper must first humble himself under the person he wants to help and thereby understand that to help is not to dominate but to serve, that to help is a not to be the most dominating but the most patient, that to help is a willingness for the time being to put up with being in the wrong and not understanding what the other understands.”

At times I have got annoyed by people who are reserved from themselves. Utterly helpful towards others, but shut out from themselves as by a wall. "Oh, God, they must be insecure", I have thought. That is a projection, of course, because I have been like that myself when I felt insignificant. More or less shut out from myself dependent on how much I could accept myself. The stupid thing is I was dissappointed that people didn't care about me, didn't ask about me, even though it was me who had made myself inaccessible, too insecure about myself and my life.

So I have met a man who is reserved from others most of the time while I am reserved from myself most of the time I'm with others. A good combination, you think? It is potential for growth here. He can try to be more forthcoming and caring and I can try to be more open and honest even though I am afraid he will judge me. I can try to be fine with what ever he thinks about me. As long as he doesn't seem to care I can not open up for him, so he must start by reaching out. In a way tell me that he wants to know me, with an open mind and a comforting heart.

I met a guy who reminds me of daddy

I have met a guy and spent a few weeks with him. It's like the love I had for my dad when I was little and that I have missed feeling for him as an adult is back, but now this guy is the object for it. He looks a little like him and acts a little like him and is receptive for my love quite a bit. I have talked to him about it and he is not sure if it is a good thing or not. Perhaps it's not good. Probably it is both good and bad, just like my dad was.

Reserved is one thing they have in common. And that is a challange for sure, making me insecure, and tired after trying to connect and fail over and over again. I withdraw in the end and become reserved myself, dissappointed for not getting him hooked on anything I talk about. Then he complains because I am reserved and shutting him out. We have talked about this.

Another challange is that he has expectations that I am sure I don't fullfill. It makes me insecure knowing that I dissappoint him. In the beginning I expected outbursts because of it, but they didn't come. He doesn't want to get angry. He wants to accept what is, be relaxed. He is very sensitive to how I feel and how much attention I give him. 

He is very interested in moving towards nearness, to recognize our defences and handle things differently. He has suggested me to read a book written by Hanne Hostrup: "Kærestebilleder." It is interesting. But listen to this:

 

NyPer

Du braste ut opp av rommet til himmelen, 
trærne, fuglene og solen og forble der
og skapte ingen forventninger
bare sang stille gjennom hele sesjonen
og skrudde om på alt jeg tidligere hadde av krav. 

Du braste ut av rommet og opp til pleiadene
der de stille vannene ante fyrverkeriet som skulle komme.
Et brukket tre, et brukket nebb
og hele havet glitret inni magen min og inni magen din
og hodet vårt forsto det samme.

Relax! Where are you going?

The more sensitive you are and the less normal orgasms you have the less stimulation is needed to increase sexual energy. If you relax and meditate on the slight touch that is given you will be able to feel the sexual energy separate from the body. Then you are in control of it and can move it upwards from one chakra to the next when one chakra is filled up.

Physical touch is not needed to increase sexual energy. To avoid normal orgasms is enough. One can also use visualization or relaxation and meditation with the sexual energy as the focal point. This can increase more sexual energy than a lot of physical stimulation. The more relaxed and focused you are less friction and fast movements is needed to increase the sexual energy. It is hard to feel the energy itself (separate from the body) when there is fast movements and a lot of friction. 

When sex is used as a tool for meditation with the goal of increasing and lifting the energy to higher energy centers (chakras) you don't need to include penetration and french kissing. You can include it gradually, but you can't start the meditation with it. First you need to develop the energy and keep it under your attention. If not you are out of the meditation and back to normal sex where the energy is in control of you, not the other way around. You can include more and more stimulation as long as you have the energy under your attention (= control). You may or may not want to include more physical stimulation. When you are a beginner you may not be able to control the energy when it gets too physical, so take it easy and start slowly.

I once got so aroused that I reached a peak and fell down into valley orgasm just by receiving the slightest touch not even meant to be sexually stimulating because I hadn't had a normal orgasm for months. The man that touched me didn't even know that I got incredibly horny because I didn't act on the fantasies that popped up in my mind.

The more attention you give to the touch you receive the less pressure is needed to stimulate you. The more you relax the easier it gets to be able to feel the sexual energy separate from the surface of the body.

Fast tounge movements are unnecessary just like the fast movements that some use during intercourse. When you have relaxed enough to be able to feel the energy separately you can include kissing, penetration or other ways of stimulating the sexual energy. But never miss focus on the energy or you will not be able to have an energy orgasm and you may be tempted to have a normal orgasm. When you lose your attention on the energy it will take control of your body, so use reins on your horse to keep the body in control.

If you avoid normal orgasms you can have energy orgasms instead. You can lift the energy when you can feel it separate from your body by the will of your mind from one chakra to the next. I recommend learning Barbara Carellas technique. She shows how to have an energy orgasm on youtube.

If a finger touches you slightly when you are busy doing or thinking you will probably not take much notice of it, but if you are relaxed and receptive you will feel it better. If you meditate on it it may appear magical. You may see the light that shines from it. The one touching can consentrate and make sure the finger (or more fingers and the whole hand of course) express a feeling of love that may open up the receiver.

Kveldens to innsikter

Jeg og en venn av meg jeg kan kalle Frank fikk hver vår innsikt i kveld. Min var at grunnen til at visse mennesker tør å leve farlig i sin indre verden er at de har blitt forberedt på det med en tøff barndom. Hans innsikt var at grunnen til at en fremmed sjel på den andre siden kunne skjønne, samt bry seg om meg på jorden var at han opplevde enheten som forbandt oss alle.

A week for receiving shaktipat

Day 1. I have joined a group of people around the world who wants to receive shaktipat (spiritual energy to activate kundalini) from a young man called Rohan in India. Today, one day before the shaktipat event I felt the kundalini or sexual energy ( can't tell the difference) in the lowest chakra and went to bed for total relaxation and meditation. I usually do this to relieve the tension. 

I was looking forward to the shaktipat so I tried to find Rohan and I did see him sitting in meditation with energy sparkling around him. He noticed me and gave me shaktipat a day before the event. Waves of energy came up my body. I laughed at one point. For a while my left hand became very soft and glowing with yellow light, I imagined. I think energy was received there. He put his hand about 40 cm above my head and that felt so comforting I cried a lot. I spoke in tounges throughout the whole session. After maybe 20 minutes he was finished and I showed him namaste telepathically and said thank you, thank you. 

I was so happy for what I had received, but I wanted more. I understood that my desire for sex and a sexual parter was a misunderstanding. It was the energy I longed for, not sex or men. I was not thinking precisely. Only God is the provider of energy and He is the provider of everything. What a liberation! The meaning of friendships and companienships are for sharing. Sharing love, happiness, sadness and so forth. Sharing Gods gifts.

When I went back to my livingroom I saw a lot of white fog-like energy around me. I remembered that I used to see that a lot when I had awakened kundalini earlier in my life. 

Day 2.  I felt connected to God through an energyfield that had appeared so I talked a lot to Him and His servants on the other side who had helped me in my life. I felt so good. I felt much more worthy than I normally do. I had missed this connection and feeling of nearness to God for many years. 

I received shaktipat twice. I know when because I spoke in tounges. The first time I had read Bahai prayers and sat down to receive afterwards. My body started to move spontaniously while I spoke in tounges. After yoga while in the dead mans pose I received again. This time through my mouth. Og my that was heavenly! I was so deep into the meditation it took at least an hour before I remembered receiving that way. I have wanted to feel that energy in my mouth while kissing. Now I got so much more. I don't have the strong urge for more like yesterday.